Excuses for declining the position of General Dopgsbody Orraman:

"I'm allergic to nuts."

"I've got enough money, ta."

"I don't like tea."

"Orramen in orra stories give me nightmares."

"You haven't got a television."

"I don't believe you really are Dr. Who."

"After reading all that, I need a holiday."

"I thought I'd better learn Linux first so as to have a better chance of getting the job, so on the way I met this penguin, and he told me he was an enchanted king penguin, not just a prince, and if I kissed him, he would turn back into a king and give me all sorts of things.   All he gave me was psittacosis, and I'm still in hospital."

"Oh, and why did Hercules turn the job down?";


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