BONA PRODS

SANDY: Mr. Horne - we are in the forefront of your Nouvelle Vague. That's your actual French.

JULIAN: It means we are of the New Wave.

HORNE: And very nice it looks on you, too.

JULIAN: Yes.

SANDY: You see, we've got a small independent unit.

JULIAN: We are the Cecil B's of the sixteen de mille. Small budget pictures, really.

HORNE: Would I have vada'd any of them, do you think?

SANDY: Oh - he`s got all the palare, hasn't he?

JULIAN: I wonder where he picks it up.

SANDY: You may have vada'd one of our tiny bijou masterpiecettes, heartface. We made Funny Eek, My Fair Palone. And then we done one on Chopin and his love for George Sanders.

HORNE: Shouldn't that be George Sands?

SANDY: He's right, you know. He's not wrong - he's right. I told Jules that, but he wouldn't listen.

JULIAN: No wonder Rock Hudson turned the part down.

HORNE: I take it you're engaged in something pretty exciting at the moment.

JULIAN: No, not really. We're just standing here with our hands on our hips, talking to you....

HORNE: Oh-bold! Very bold!

SANDY: I wonder where he spends his evenings? Oh, you mean subjects - well, frankly, Mr. Horne, at the moment we are dickering, aren't we, Jules?

JULIAN: Yes. We're dickering. We've got one or two germs and we're dickering with them. We was thinking of a Biblical subject - in fact I was up all last night working on me outline.

SANDY: Show it to Mr. Horne - show him your outline.

JULIAN: Well, how I see it is this-

SANDY: This is how he sees it, Mr. Horne. You arc present at a moment of cinema history. He is about to create - look, his features are getting all tortured - he's getting all worked up - the muse is fluttering about him, looking for a place to perch. There she is - go it, gel! There! She's lighted on his shoulder.

JULIAN: I`ve got it!

SANDY: He's got it, Mr. Horne. It's coming over him in waves.

JULIAN: We're going to do Samson and Delilah.

SANDY: Go on, Jules, how do you see it?

JULIAN: Well, I see Samson as huge and all butch, with great bulging thews and whopping great lallies, with long blond riah hanging right down his Jim and Jack -

SANDY: That,s rhyming slang for 'back'. 0r, for France - `down his Jules and Jim' - but I won't go into that. Yes - so what happens?

JULIAN: I'll tell you what happens - the film opens with him lying there, spark out on his paliasse. Suddenly there's a movement behind the arras, and who comes trolling in but this palone Delilah. She vadas his sleeping eek, and she pulls out this pair of scissors and lops off his riah.

SANDY: Yes. I can see that. Great close up of his head - nante riah. That's your cinema verite.

JULIAN: Suddenly he comes round. `Who's had me riah off?' he squeals. `It's all ebbing away' - and then the Philistines come and mock him, Mr. Horne.

SANDY: What a figure of tragedy he presents -

JULIAN: Then they drag him up the king's lattie, and chain his lallies to a pillar. Then he gets his wild up, and with one mighty heave he brings the whole lattie tumb1ing about their heads. End of film.

SANDY: Bravo, Jules, bravo! It's an Oscar winner. I shall go and go again. How about you, Mr. Horne?

HORNE: Yes, it makes me want to go. And who do you see playing the role of Samson

SANDY: Well, let's see - the description says `big, butch, muscular and blond'. There's on1y one person it can be.

HORNE: Who's that?

SANDY: It's you, Jules.

JULIAN: That's a pity - I saw myself as Delilah.

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